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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28494246">out in the cold so long</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/'>Anonymous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Yu-Gi-Oh! Zexal</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(slaps roof of fave character) this baby can fit so much projected guilt complex in him, Character Study, Gen, M/M, Stream of Consciousness</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 17:08:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>410</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28494246</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>mostly musing about why vector let himself be superhelled LOL</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>implied vector/yuma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Anonymous</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>out in the cold so long</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>vector contains multitudes within himself, self contradictions, though few knew it. </p><p>the fool holding his hand believed he did. </p><p>it shouldve made vector uneasy, to mold himself into a zero, a shadow of nothing, rei. the fake persona came far too easily to him, even for someone who is as good of an actor that he is. he would never admit that he enjoyed being rei as much as or even more than he enjoyed playing rei, the time spent reaching for the sun warming a part of him he didnt know was cold. </p><p>it became obvious, why the persona came easily, when he regained his memories; that "nothing" turned out to be his own past self. once the very icon of peace and hope, before strung up and tied into believing he was the harbinger of calamity, a prince gone mad. </p><p>his past memories and his contructed self clamor inside of him. </p><p>their emotions stab him, guilt clawing him, turning him inside out, when he chooses to drive himself further into dead end zones, wanting him to stop. he's already past the point of no return, though; hes killed too much. caused too much pain. betrayed allies and enemies alike, a puppet of the god of misfortune playing puppetmaster. </p><p>he wants to erase the ghosts of his past unfinished and contructed selves, slide a knife through their throats, baptize himself in their blood. he would finally transform back into the unrepentant monster everyone already believed him to be, half-true as it is, make his destructive self-cannibalization painless, once and for all. </p><p>but it doesn't work like that, does it? theyre ghosts that should have died, ghosts that dont know they have died, ghosts that possess his still beating heart with a firm grip. </p><p>he wants to end this, end all of it. he cant back down now. </p><p>but the fool says he would go down with him. </p><p>the ghosts inside him still. </p><p>oh, is that it? </p><p>was it that easy? </p><p>this fool, this lovely idiot, who he thought was the unreachable warmth of the sun, saw all of him, even as he kicked and screamed and played with his emotions-- </p><p>and still accepted him? </p><p>... </p><p>its a silly thing, but he finds that even one person seeing the whole of him, past the shadows, to his wretched core, and forgiving it, all of it, makes him reconsider. </p><p>maybe he can do one thing right. </p><p>he lets go and-- </p><p>he falls.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>im sure my friends would know who i am if they see this. but no u dont ❤ </p><p>i love vector is just evil interpretations of canon but i love projecting my (ex-)catholic guilt onto my faves more lol</p></blockquote></div></div>
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